Family Yoga with Natasha

Stressed Out Kids? Here’s How to Calm Their Nervous System

As parents and caregivers, we want the best for our children. We want them to be happy, healthy and well-adjusted. However, in today’s fast-paced world, children are exposed to stressors that can leave them feeling overwhelmed and anxious. The good news is that there are many ways to help calm their nervous system and bring them back into balance.

First, it’s important to understand children’s different stress responses. Children, just like us, have different ways they react to stress. By recognizing your child’s individual stress response, you can better support them in managing their emotions.

Some children may become hyperactive and agitated when they are stressed, while others may withdraw and become quiet. Let’s look at each of the four different stress responses in more detail. See which one you see in your child (or students), it could even be a combination. 

​The Nervous System

When we think of the nervous system we often think of it as 2 parts. It’s like having scales that are sometimes perfectly balanced, but other times one side is heavier than the other. These two systems are called the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems.
When we feel hyper or anxious, our sympathetic nervous system kicks into gear and makes us feel like we need to fight, flee, or freeze. It’s like being in superhero mode, ready to act quickly. But when we’re relaxed, our parasympathetic nervous system takes over and helps us digest and absorb nutrients. It’s like being in rest mode, ready to chill out.
Understanding these two systems can help us support our children better. When they’re feeling anxious or stressed, we can help them activate their parasympathetic system by doing things like deep breathing, mindfulness exercises, or practicing yoga. This can help them feel better and manage their stress. When your little one is feeling stressed, remember that their nervous system is like a balance scale, and you can help them find their balance again.

The Four Stress Responses

There are four different stress responses – Fight, Flight, Freeze (mentioned above) and one I discovered recently from The Reconnected – The Golden Child. Stress can look different in children than it does in adults. Children’s nervous systems are not fully developed and they are still learning so much. They also quite often (except for the golden child) don’t let other peoples judgements and feelings determine how they express their emotions, they will just let them authentically come out exactly how they are feeling them in that moment. 

Freeze

Freeze is something we sometimes experience in the morning. I’m asking the kids to put their shoes on and they are stuck. They don’t have any get up and go, they are quite ‘dreamy’. This is like us when we need to go and make the dinner but we literally can’t face getting up and making it. You ever get that feeling? Like not just tiredness, but really like you can’t take any more, you just feel stuck. Children are often held at higher standards than us adults, but they experience stress too, so really it is understandable that they get these moments when we think about it. When they say “I don’t know” when we are asking them for the fifth time where their shoes are, it’s because at that moment, they actually don’t know. 

Fight

The fight response is the explosive child. I definitely had moments like this when I was younger especially when it came to my siblings. I would see red! This is something I see in my youngest. The explosive child can be quite assertive. Sometimes it can feel like you’re walking on eggshells to avoid a major meltdown or tantrum. It is the response that most parents seek help with because it can be quite intense. ​

Flight

Flight response can look like running away, hyperactivity, being avoidant and basically not wanting to be present with what is going on. They may avoid eye contact or be quite fidgety and restless.  ​

The Golden Child

The golden child is one I can also relate to and it is one I try to pay mindful attention to with my own children and children in my classes because these children often get missed. Even when stressed, they are more concerned about what is going on around them. They are wanting everyone else to be okay, even at their own expense. Someone will take their toy, and they’ll say that it is okay to just keep the peace. They may push down how they are feeling or they may fret about wanting everything to be perfect. They may get frustrated when things aren’t good enough and may have high expectations of themselves. They may apologize a lot or seek outside validation. 

The Yoga Sutras

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, a text written over 5,000 years ago, actually has a lot to say about the breath and how it can affect our minds. When our minds are feeling all over the place, our breath can be a great tool in helping us understand why we’re feeling this way.
Patanjali also believed that by focusing on our breath, we could bring our minds into a state of tranquillity. Helping children to understand that by paying attention to their breath, they can help calm their minds and feel more peaceful is an important lesson. It’s amazing how something as simple as breathing can have such a powerful impact on our well-being! It is fascinating that 5,000 years ago, yogis knew the power of the breath for regulating.

Here’s How Playful Yoga Can Help

One effective technique to help regulate your child’s nervous system is through playful yoga. Yoga is a wonderful way to help children connect with their bodies and calm their minds. By using poses that focus on deep breathing and gentle movement, yoga can help release tension and bring a sense of calm to your child’s body and mind. 

We can use both up-regulating and down-regulating techniques. Up-regulating techniques, such as dancing around and playing, can help release excess energy and tension. Down-regulating techniques, such as cuddling, massage and quiet time, can help soothe your child’s nervous system and bring them into a more relaxed state. These are elements you’ll often see in my classes (and in my home practice). We’ll be very energetic and play fun games, we’ll be practicing energetic and focused yoga sequences, and we’ll practice calm games, quiet activities and restorative poses. 
Remember the image of the scales, and bringing this back into balance? That is exactly what we are aiming for with these techniques. I meet the energy of the children in front of me and I work to bring to balance, while having fun together along the way. 

Conscious Parenting Techniques

In addition to yoga, conscious parenting techniques can also be helpful in managing your child’s stress levels. By being present with your child, actively listening and validating their feelings, you can help them feel seen and heard. This can go a long way in helping them feel more secure and less stressed.

As a mother, I have found these techniques to be incredibly helpful in supporting my children’s emotional and mental well-being (as well as keeping up my own Yoga practices for my own well-being). By taking a mindful and conscious approach to caring for children, we can help our children manage stress and thrive in today’s world.

Free 5 Day Challenge! 

 A 5 Day Challenge to help children with their emotional well-being in just 15 minutes a day.

Plus bonus breathwork guide including pranayama practices you can do with your children for better well-being!

Emotion Explorers: Conscious Calming Techniques for Kids

Comment Below

Comment which stress response you often see from your child or perhaps one you can relate to from your own childhood. There’s rarely just one stress response we see, but there’s often one or two that we see more than the others. Share below or journal on it.

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