How to Finally Let Go of Guilt and Embrace the Parent You Are

You love your kids—but right now, you’re exhausted.

You never thought parenting would feel this hard. You start each day telling yourself today will be different. You’ll be more patient. You won’t yell. You’ll handle the meltdowns with love and calm.

But by breakfast, you’re already drained. The whining, the power struggles, the explosive emotions—your child is struggling, and despite everything you’ve tried, it feels like nothing is working.

And that guilt at the end of the day? The moment you FINALLY have some peace and quiet and they’re sound asleep – ugh, it feels really heavy and can even make it hard to sleep.

The shame after raising your voice. The regret after reacting instead of responding. You know you know better than this so why does it keep happening?! The feeling that no matter how much you try, you’re never going to be the calm parent you want to be.

If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. And more importantly—you are not failing.

I have had so many days like this. I still have days that test me soo much, but I have learned something so powerful, and I’m going to share that with you too in this post. Because here’s the thing…

You’ve Been Focusing on Their Regulation, but What About Yours?

Here’s the truth no one tells you: Your child isn’t the only one who needs to build their regulation skills—you do, too. It’s wonderful kids have yoga and mindfulness in school now and you have all these resources at your fingertips – but did you have that growing up? I know I didn’t and I feel like it’s a constant practice. What I do know though, is the more consistent the practice – the easier it all feels.

You’ve poured so much energy into helping your children manage their emotions. You’ve read the books, tried the techniques, and done everything “right.” But in focusing so much on their behaviour and well-being, you’ve lost sight of yourself.

You can’t pour from an empty cup (I know cliché, but true!), yet every day, you wake up and try. And I know you’re really trying so hard.

Why Guilt is Keeping You Stuck (And How to Release It)

That voice in your head? The one telling you:
❌ “I should be more patient.”
❌ “They deserve better than this.”
❌ “Other parents handle this better.”

That voice isn’t the truth—it’s guilt talking. And guilt doesn’t make you a better parent. It keeps you stuck in a cycle of self-judgment and burnout.

So, what if, instead of guilt, you gave yourself grace?

What if you recognized that:
✔️ You are allowed to have hard days.
✔️ Your worth is not measured by how “calm” you stay.
✔️ Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

The First Step: Shifting the Focus Back to You

If you want your child to feel safe, supported, and emotionally resilient, the best thing you can do is model that for them.

That doesn’t mean being perfect. It doesn’t mean never getting frustrated. It means learning how to regulate your own nervous system first.

And that starts with small, daily shifts:
✨ A few minutes of EFT tapping in the morning to set the tone for the day.(You can get my Better Mornings Tapping in The Family Emotional Regulation Toolkit here)
✨ A moment to breathe and ground yourself before reacting.
✨ Practicing Regulation skills together at calmer times through playful family yoga practices (see the 7 day Calm and Connect Series here)

You Are Already Enough

You don’t have to do more. You don’t have to be better. You don’t have to carry the weight of guilt every single day.

You just have to start with yourself.

Because when you feel calmer, more grounded, and regulated—your child feels it, too. And it doesn’t come from guilt or forcing yourself to be calm through gritted teeth. It comes from self- compassion, and taking small moments for yourself.

And that is enough. 💛

You are enough 💛

Come back next week as I’ll be sharing “Why Your Nervous System Might Be Keeping You Stuck in Overwhelm“

Did this post resonate? Share in the comments if you’ve tried to be a calm parent only to default back to feeling overwhelmed and ready to scream or hide.