The Nervous System, Somatic Parenting & the Power of Breath: What Gentle Parents Need to Know

You’ve probably heard the word “somatic” floating around lately.
It’s become a bit of a buzzword, especially in the parenting and healing space.

But what does it actually mean? And why does it matter when you’re trying to raise emotionally healthy kids without burning out?

Let’s break it down simpley,and through the lens of parenting.

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Voluntary vs. Involuntary: Two Parts of the Same Nervous System

In my yoga training — specifically one on pranayama (breathwork) — I was introduced to something that changed the way I parent forever:

👉 The nervous system isn’t just something that runs through the body doing it’s own thing. It’s something we can learn to work with — especially through the breath.

Our nervous system has two main functions:

• The autonomic nervous system controls all the stuff that happens without us thinking — heart rate, digestion, stress responses.
• The somatic nervous system is responsible for what we’re aware of — movement, sensation, and intentional action.

Here’s where it gets interesting…

Breath belongs to both.

It’s one of the only functions we can control that also runs on autopilot.
That’s why the breath is often called a bridge between the conscious and unconscious, the energetic and physical, the mind and the body.

What does Somatic mean?

The word somatic comes from the Greek word soma, meaning “the living body.” In simple terms, somatic practices are those that bring us into direct awareness of our inner experience. Not just thoughts, but sensations, emotions, and energetic shifts happening in the body.

Yoga, especially when practiced with breath and awareness, is inherently somatic. It’s not just about movement, it’s about feeling the movement from within.

Likewise, EFT tapping invites us to notice and release what the body is holding onto through physical sensation and emotional charge.

In yogic philosophy, the body is not separate from the mind or spirit, it’s part of a larger system that includes the koshas (layers of being) and the chakras (energy centres). Both yoga and tapping allow us to move through these layers, creating space for deeper healing and more embodied presence, which is essential for gentle, conscious parenting.

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Parenting From Your Nervous System (Not Just Your Mind)

There have been moments in my parenting I’m not proud of.

Times when I reacted instead of responded.
Times when I felt like my kids’ behaviour made zero sense and my body jumped into high-alert mode before I even knew what I was doing.

One moment that stands out…

I was lying on my bed, finally relaxing. Scrolling my phone. And suddenly my youngest let out a scream.

Not a horror scream, just a high-pitched, whiney one. One that ‘screamed’, no pun intended, sibling argument.
But my body didn’t care. It tensed instantly.
I jumped up, ready to shout, “Pack it in!”

But then I paused. I stood at the top of the stairs, and listened.
Laughter.

They were playing. Not fighting. Not hurting each other.
My nervous system had misfired, because it was doing it’s job. It wasn’t wrong. It was protecting.

The thing that made the difference is…
I had the awareness to choose my response.

I was able to pause, breath….and listen.

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It’s Not About Excusing Behaviour. It’s About Understanding It

Gentle parenting gets a bad reputation.

People hear “gentle” and think “permissive.”
They assume we’re letting our kids run wild, make excuses, and ignore boundaries. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Understanding the nervous system helps me:

• Hold strong boundaries without shaming my kids.
• Recognise when bad behaviour isn’t defiance but dysregulation.
• Offer compassion to my children and to myself when things get messy.

Because it’s not about liking every behaviour.
It’s about understanding what’s underneath it.

Our kids aren’t naughty.
You’re not too soft.
We’re all still learning, and the nervous system is at the heart of that learning.

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Breath: The Anchor You Can Return To

Here’s what I want every parent and child to know:
The breath is always available.

It can tell us so much:

• Are we holding it?
• Is it shallow or rushed?
• What changes when we slow it down… or lengthen our exhale?

Breath is the first step in helping ourselves and our children come back to safety.
Not just mentally, but physically, energetically, emotionally.

It’s how we begin to build a relationship with our body.
It’s how we teach our kids to do the same.

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Want to Start Practicing? I’ve Got You.

This isn’t about “knowing more.”
It’s about taking one small step to practice — starting today.

I’ve created a free guide to help you do exactly that.

5 Must-Know Breathing Practices for Children
5 Practices and 3 simple, gentle, and effective video lessons (sent straight to your inbox over 3 days) — to help your child learn to calm their body, tune into their breath, and begin building emotional resilience.

👉 Grab your free guide here

You don’t need to be perfect.
You don’t need to have all the answers.
You just need effective practices that support your families nervous system.

And that’s where we begin.