My go to pose to help children calm down – FAST!

One thing that always makes me laugh as a parent of very energetic children is seeing posts like do this pose to help your child calm down!

And it’s like… that’s just not going to happen. They’ll often share how to do the pose and best ways to practice but what you rarely see is how to actually get your child to be interested enough to try the pose, let alone stay in it long enough to being any kind of calm!

In this post, I want to go beyond just saying hey, here is a pose that will help calm kids. I want to dive into HOW. How does it calm kids? How do you get them interested enough in practicing? How can you get them to stay in this pose long enough for it to have any kind of impact?

The thing is, before we understand that, we have to understand what is going on with our child that is making them not calm.

What is the opposite to calm?

When I say what is the opposite to calm, what comes to mind?

When I googled the definition of calm, this is what came up. “not showing or feeling nervousness, anger, or other strong emotions:”

On www.wordhippo.com some of the words that came up for the opposite of calm were frenzied, loudmouthed, enraged, violent, excited, agitated, nervous, furious, wild, raving, undisciplined, restless, aggressive, stressed and emotional.

Quite a range of feelings!

So if we are trying to help our child calm, surely we have to look at the child in front of us. Surely calming a child who is excited is going to look different to a child who is aggressive. Helping a child who is restless is going to look different to helping a child who is stressed.

The end goal may be the same, the process may even be similar, but we have to meet the child in front of us. I may playfully suggest we do one of the poses to my excited child, but if I was to do the same to my enraged child… well, wish me luck 😬

What does calm look like?

No, you didn’t get deja vu, I already told you the definition of calm but what does that look like?

So let’s look at that definition again “not showing or feeling nervousness, anger, or other strong emotions:”

Not showing is one thing… I have had many years in my past of not showing strong emotions, and maybe even appearing ‘calm’. This does not mean calm though. This is just hiding or supressing feelings and maybe even leaning into people pleasing. For me, I still have to remind myself that my emotions are not a burden for others. I think this is one reason I try to be so accepting and open about emotions with my own children, I want them to know I can take it. I can handle their big emotions. I know this is going to help them be okay with them too, they may feel huge for them right now, but I want them to know that it’s not too big – if you know what I mean? When we talk about big emotions, I always emphasise them feeling big rather than being too big.

So is the key not feeling the emotions then?

So if the definition says not showing or feeling, then the key must be in the feeling these emotions. So in order for our kids to be calm what we actually mean is we don’t want them to feel big emotions any more?

I mean…. that definition doesn’t sit right with me either.

So here is my definition of calm…

“not feeling OVERWHELMED by nervousness, anger, or other strong emotions:”

I don’t think calm is in not feeling certain emotions but rather in the not feeling overwhelmed by these feelings in a way that we feel out of control or unable to process what we are feeling.

So how we can we help?

Okay, now we are ready for some Yoga. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page about what calm meant first and what it actually means to help children calm down. Back when I was a kid, being told to calm down basically meant “Shut up.” 🙈 So if you want to go beyond telling kids to “Shut Up” then you’re in the right place 😂

Tree Pose

Tree pose is great for helping focus the mind as we play around with balance. It helps to strengthen the legs, the core muscles, bilateral co-ordination and can be a good one for improving self-confidence. It helps children to calm down as it helps them to be present and focused.

How to practice

Start by standing and just play around with lifting one leg up and down – this will help you find your balance. Then slowly bend your knee and bring your foot to the ankle (with toes pressing on to the ground or a block), below the knee, or above the knee. Hands can press against each other at your heart centre or you can bring your arms up like branches. You can even help each other with balance by pressing your hands into each others, either side by side or opposite each other.

HOW to practice

Okay, like I said. I don’t want to just say hey, here is a pose. Sometimes you need more than that right?!

Have a look through these ways. Think about your child would respond to best in this moment (this moment being when you are wanting to help bring some calm, not this second when you are reading).

These practices are designed to get children’s interest in the practice and help them hold the poses long enough for them to focus their awareness on their breath and the present moment. It will help them channel their energy into their practice, which in turn will help them to manage overwhelm and come back to connection. Connection with themselves and of course you. Be sure to practice with them, play alongside them and of course practice both sides (Switch the standing leg of tree pose and keep things as balanced as possible).

5 ways to practice:

Mr McGregor’s Garden

This game has evolved so much over the years! It used to be sneaky trees, then it was grumpy neighbour and now we call it Mr McGregor’s garden (from Peter Rabbit) because the grumpy neighbour reminded one of my students of Mr McGregor (Thank you Josh for the brilliant idea!).

This game takes having some space, the length of a room, or get outside if possible (getting outside will have added benefits that will help in calming hyper children!). It can even be played in the kitchen before dinner. This is a favourite in both my classes and at home.

How to play

You stand at one end of the room (or a chosen point outside) and your child or children stand at the other end, leaving a decent amount of space between you. The idea here is that you are Mr McGregor and you do not want bunnies in your garden! When you are not watching they must hop like bunnies to get to the other side and tap you on the shoulder (or get to the wall). When you are looking , they must stand still in tree pose. This will help with balance and focus. You can then switch around so they can be Mr McGregor.

I like to make this game super dramatic. Be as grumpy as you can, tune into that character who really does not want bunnies in his garden! I usually say “I only want to see trees in my garden.”

I take a walk around inspecting the trees too, this encourages children to hold the pose a little longer. Encourage them to change sides each side (change the standing leg).

Decide with the children what the rules should be if they get caught moving. Do they have to go back to the start, go back a few steps or stay still from that moment? We want to keep this fun and if there is confusion about the rules, especially when playing with multiple children, it can take-away from the fun! When one child is arguing that another player has to go back to the start but that player thinks they should stay where they are – it can bring frustration, so I recommend making it clear and keeping competitiveness out of it as much as possible – focusing instead on playing, not winning (I’ll share more tips on this in the call).

Grounding Like a Tree

Imagine you’re in a magical forest. Walk around the room pretending to explore this forest noticing all the different trees. Look around, find a strong and tall tree that you’d like to become. Is it an oak, a pine, or perhaps a magical tree from a fairy tale?

Now, stand on one leg and lift the other, just like the roots of your chosen tree digging into the ground. Feel your foot connecting with the earth beneath you.

Imagine a gentle breeze is blowing. Sway side to side, just like the trees do. Feel the strength in your body, and notice how steady you are, just like your tree. (You can even take in in turns to try and blow each others tree down).

As you stand tall in your Tree Pose, take a deep breath. Imagine that with every inhale, you’re breathing in calmness, and with every exhale, you’re letting go of any worries that you are done with.

You did it! You found calm within, just like the magical trees in our forest. Keep this calm feeling with you, and remember, whenever you need it, you can return to your Tree Pose.

Seed to Tree

Create a story sequence together, starting from a small seed and growing into a strong tree. What kind of tree are they? Where were they planted? Are there any animals near by? Perhaps you could decide on a pose to show what they look like?

Swaying Trees

Describe how the trees sway gently in the wind, teaching them that just like trees, they can stay grounded and calm even when things around them feel shaky. This not only introduces mindfulness but also adds an element of fun and creativity to the practice.

Tree Pose Challenge

There are so many variations of tree pose. Set a timer for one minute and see how many variations you can come up with together! You can use props, partner poses, turn the pose on it’s side, laying down or even upside down! How many can you come up with?

After you’ve explored loads of different variations, see if you can focus on one at a time and start bringing the breath to the pose. The contrast of high energy and focus is what helps to make this challenge a success in creating calm.

Go and Calm Down!

So there we have it, one pose with lots of ways to practice! And see how we are helping the kids so much more than just shouting at them to calm down or eve just keeping it at “Shut up!” 😂

It doesn’t have to take ages either, the practices I have written on here will take less time to practice, than it took you to read this post! So go and calm down together, and maybe have some fun a long the way 😉

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